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Last week was spent in recovery mode, mostly. The week before that I was in Texas from Sunday – Sunday, and in 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM training Monday – Saturday. Now, I will be the first to admit that it was FUN training. To be paid by my company to go learn lock picking, surveillance techniques, and electronic coding was a dream I never knew I had. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t mentally exhausting to sit in a chair for 8 hours a day listening and learning. So I am not entirely certain what happened to last week, but I”m fairly sure a lot of it was spent not doing anything.

But back to my class. I spent two days learning how to pick various locks and enter places you aren’t supposed to, two days learning how surveillance systems work, the best places to put them, and the different systems, and two days learning how electronic keys/fobs/access thingamajigs (yes, that is a technical term) work, including learning how to copy my hotel card onto another card.

Here is the overall lesson for you all: Locks can be defeated. Very easily in most cases. I don’t think I will ever again count on a lock to keep someone out, although they are a good way to make sure someone knows they aren’t SUPPOSED to be there. Electronic access is a little harder, but still totally crack-able if you have the right tools, and, in some cases, you don’t need any tools other than whiskey (Yes, whiskey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDl4AO4ancI). So, whenever I get my own house, I’m getting a surveillance system to go with it, because then at least I will usually be able to see WHO broke into my house.

The other thing I learned while I was gone is that Austin, Texas is not ideal for a woman by herself. Perhaps it was the time of year, or the area, or who knows what, but I haven’t been that uncomfortable and aware of eyes on me since I was a size 2. And, honestly, probably not even then. Once, I was on the phone with my husband in the elevator when the guy in the elevator with me asked me to have a glass of wine with him. He muttered something about it not scaring him when I pointed out my husband was on the phone, but let me go without any issues anyway.

So I didn’t go many places between the training room and my hotel room. But I still had fun, and there was a huge street fair my last day there that had too many people meandering around for anyone to single me out, so I enjoyed going to every single booth, trying most samples, and buying much more than I expected. Someday I would like to go back, WITH my husband, so I can explore the area properly.

And my (late) lunch break is over, so that’s all the update for now!

'This is a really great bar - you have to pick the lock to get in!'

 

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So, I have the day off today, for which I am every so grateful. It was pretty much worth the hours upon hours of work for the Full-Scale Exercise my team did last week if it resulted in a couple days off without using PTO. And I fully intend to use today to write for the first time in over two weeks. Which you can read a little bit more about at Once Upon a Story.

Once thing I didn’t mention in that post is that I am hoping – that is, I think I might ask – that some of my friends might do some of those writing exercises with me. I’m not sure I’ll be successful – but I feel like I will do it more frequently if other people are doing it with me. I don’t know – we’ll see.

Okay – so here is a pet peeve for you. How do you feel when someone says to you, referring to your significant other, “You’ve trained him well.” Or, if you are a guy, if someone tells your girl she’s trained you well? Personally, I find it incredibly insulting to both me and my husband. It is such a favorite term these days though! Gahh, it makes me so angry. Here comes the rant, so leave now if you don’t want to listen to a rant.

Okay, so, back story – I posted the following on facebook yesterday, because I thought it was super funny coming from a guy:

Daniel: Let’s watch Pride & Prejudice.
Me: Okay – want to try the black and white version that is hysterically inaccurate?
Daniel: I’m going to be a Jane Austen snob and say NO.

Whereupon someone promptly responded with the comment “You’ve trained him so well.” I know that she didn’t mean anything by it, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my tongue in check if I tried, so I didn’t respond. But why does this get me so angry, you ask?

In my opinion, saying you’ve trained your husband well implies both that you weren’t satisfied with him when you married him and that he is a dog who isn’t allowed to have his likes and dislikes. Yes, that is what comes to mind when someone says that to me. And all I want to do is reply with something along the lines of:

Actually, I understand that my husband may dislike things I like or like things I don’t. We are both entitled to our opinions, and I try to refrain from forcing him into things he doesn’t like. If he chooses to do something for or watch something with me that he may not be fond of, it is because he loves me and not because I am “training” him. And I would do the same for him. When I married him, I married him as he was, knowing that he would remain that way and in no way expecting him to change. There is no faster way to end up in an unhappy marriage than to marry someone expecting to change him. I love him as he is. I may express certain preferences, and he may adjust according to those, but he does so because he loves me, not because I am “training” him the way you train a dog. I also try to make adjustments based on his expectations – because I love him, not because he is “training” me. To say I am training him is insulting me by insinuating I didn’t know who I was marrying and insulting him by saying he isn’t good enough for me as is.

Okay – I feel better getting that out. But next time you are tempted to tell someone they are training their significant other well, just take a breath and remember – he is a person, not a dog or a child.

 

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